I think I ate a radioactive apple last night around 11:00pm. It was the most delicious apple I had eaten in so long, but when I got halfway through it I noticed a brown spot inside. Uh-oh, I thought. But the apple was so perfect, I figured, that's gotta be a fluke, some strange bruise or something. Munch, munch, mu-AUUUGH!!! I bite off a big bite and underneath was this huge jelly-like brown bruise death pocket. I literally said, "Guuwaaaaaaaahl...!" and dropped the, thankfully un-chewed, bite from my teeth. I rolled down the window and with a bit of remorse, but mostly feelings of betrayal, I threw my poison apple into the bushes.
Not long after, I noticed an unusual awake feeling that lasted all night, culminating in an uncontrollable vacuuming fit this morning when I got home. Our carpet has been thoroughly abused.
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OMGoodness, I hate apple tumors.
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